Rejection Sucks!

At some point in our lives we've all been rejected. Whether it has been in a relationship, a job or anything else that was important to you, it just plain sucks. Lots of emotions come up when you are rejected. Anger, frustration, confusion and doubt, just to name a few.

As much as rejection hurts, it's a good time for self evaluation. When I get rejected the first thing I want to do is blame the other person. I will think awful things about that person, like how could they be so naive not to notice how great my work was and what an asset I would be! I choose to blame because it is easy, it's a lot harder to look to myself for the reason I was rejected. Just to be clear, it isn't always your fault that you were rejected, sometimes it is the other person. However, for the times when it is you, self reflection will help you to better understand the situation and come out of it a better person.

In order to really reflect on a situation you will need to shut off your inner critic first. Our critics are loud talkers, they interrupt and will speak over our voice of common sense. So instead of just thinking about why you were rejected, write it down. Write down all the reasons you think the situation didn't go your way. Write everything down that comes to mind, no matter how small and trivial. Set a timer and write for at least 5 minutes. This will make you think more about it when you otherwise may have stopped. Don't just write the faults of the person that rejected you, but yours as well. You can do cluster writing, which is just random words that come to mind.

Once you have it all written down, circle the words that stand out to you. Begin to notice if there is a pattern. If you notice one, especially if it is about you, journal on that. Dig a bit deeper. For example, as a writer I get rejected all the time. I often get mad at editors because most editors are grammar geeks who can't write to save their lives. They love to pick things apart and in the process can lose sight of the heart of the story. If I'm really evaluating myself I will see that this comment is broad and mean. That perhaps they are rejecting my story because the content is either not what they are looking for or they don't like the way it is pieced together. I could journal on how to take criticism better and make it more constructive. I could give up writing for that company or I could work harder to conform to their writing styles.

You will come to a point when you are rejected that you must decide what is important to you. What you are willing to change in order to be accepted and what you will not budge on. Journaling will help you with this. If you do decide that the rejection was caused by something you've done, then it is time to put your ego in check. Chalk it up to a learning experience. Get the most out of it that you can. Don't let it be a thing that drags you down but something that lifts you up and makes you a better person, so that next time instead of getting rejected, you will be accepted.