I wake up every morning at 6:15 and I'm out the door by 7:45 to get my daughter to school and me to work. I head home at 3, pick her up at the bus, then go to swim team practice. We get home at 6, eat dinner, make lunches and by 7:30 I'm tucking my daughter into bed. Around 8pm I crash on the couch, another day done. Four more to go before the weekend.
With that kind of schedule it's very easy to turn on auto-pilot and often times I do. I notice when this happens that I’m a pretty unhappy person, as I should be, because I’m living a life without meaning. I'm only taking care of the necessities, which doesn't always include me.
When we're on auto-pilot we don’t do anything with intention. We’re doing without thinking, caring or feeling. When we live a life without meaning we aren’t living, just existing. This can lead to depression and anxiety, especially in the cold and dark winter months. We can easily slip into this mode without realizing it. Next thing we know we're so far in we feel helpless and unsure of how to get out. We believe this is our life, it's just the way it is. But that doesn't have to be your reality.
Making small changes by living through all of your koshas, can have a meaningful impact on your daily life. It can prevent you from inadvertently turning on auto-pilot, help pull you out of it if you're currently there and help you live a full life that you look forward to each day. These are simple changes that you make in your daily routine and the impact is significant.
The physical body: take time to take care of your body. When we're rushed for time or not home enough to make nutritious meals, it’s easy to eat crap food. Try to pack your own lunches and snacks so that you have healthy options. Yes, it's one more thing that you have to do, but you only have one body and the food you put in it has a profound effect. Also, make sure to exercise regularly. Studies show that exercise is a mood enhancer and helps to build your immunity.
The emotional body: instead of getting frustrated with your hectic life, try embracing it. I have weeks where I’m so tired of running around, but then I look at my 5 year old daughter, I know that in a few years I would give anything to have all this time back with her. So now when I walk her into school I cherish holding her hand. At swim team I love watching her practice and when I spend 30 minutes tucking her into bed and reading her stories, I relish every second. I know they’re going to be gone before I know it.
When I do start to feel overwhelmed I deliberately slow down, even if I know it's going to make me a bit late. I do whatever I need to get done with intention, meaning I focus solely on that task and take my time to do it well. When we do things with intention, it gives them meaning. Doing things that mean something is fulfilling verse if we’re just rushing through something. Its meaning is lost in the chaos and we feel like we’re wasting our time.
Try smiling. Our minds react to the physical act of smiling and can actually make us happier. As mentioned above, exercise. It helps to improve your mood. When all you want to do is crash on the couch at the end of a long day, take 15-30 minutes to workout. Do a yoga practice or some strength exercises. Anything to get the body moving and the mind to release its anxieties.
The energy body: when we're rushed we don’t always breathe properly. Often when we're stressed we hold our breath and breathe irregularly. When we breathe like this it leads to anxiety. The erratic movement of the diaphragm actually engages our sympathetic nervous system, which readies our body for fight or flight. This raises our blood pressure, tenses our muscles and puts our mind on edge. All these things are needed if we have to fight to survive, but aren’t needed to get us out the door each morning on time.
This wears on our bodies, breaking them down and making them vulnerable to disease. Whenever your day gets hectic stop to check your breathing. Slow it down by taking a few deep breaths. As many as you need to feel calm. Close your eyes and picture your favorite place. Feel the elements in that place, perhaps the wind on your face or the sand between your toes. Notice the smells. My favorite place is the ocean so when I need to calm my breath I picture the water, hear the waves and can feel the ocean breeze on my face. I take a few deep breaths smelling the salty air. When I open my eyes I’m refreshed and ready to get back to reality.
The spiritual body: you don’t have to be religious to utilize this one. Believing in a higher power is helpful because in times of stress we know that we can just give up whatever struggles we're dealing with to a higher power to resolve. This can be God or just the universe. Go with whatever you believe. Knowing that we don’t have to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders is a relief, especially as parents. It’s like you have your own caregiver taking care of you, you don’t have to do it all.
The wisdom body: know when to take a break. When your brain is telling you that you're taking on too much, listen to it. Know when to break the mold of the routine. We had swim team three days a week and I teach yoga one day a week. That was four out of five week days that we were getting home late. It was starting to wear on all of us. So as a family we decided to cut something out. We stopped going to swim team one night a week and it made a significant difference. We decided down time as a family was more important than going to practice. A full life doesn't need to be a busy one.
You'll still be a good person or friend if you don’t go to everything you are invited to. My daughter isn't aiming for the olympics. She joined swim team to stay active and build team skills. By pulling back on our schedule when it got overwhelming, we're teaching her how to bring balance into her life. You have to make the decision to make time for yourself, to nourish your body and mind.
Life is busy. That probably won’t change. But you can change how you move through it. Live with intention. Everything you do, do it well and with thought. Cherish each moment with your family and friends, so when you look back when you’re older you can smile and know that you lived fully. If you look at your current life and you're truly unhappy, make steps to change it. Write down what is making you unhappy and brainstorm on ideas to create a fuller life. The possibilities are endless, but you have to work to make them happen.
No one is going to make your life better. You're in charge of making your life meaningful. Every little decision you make, be it waking up with a frown and grumpy disposition, to waking up with a smile and optimistic outlook on your day, is yours to make. Living with intention is what life’s all about. Turn off that auto-pilot and fly.
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