Happiness Is All About Perspective

I envy my five year old daughter. When something irritates her, she cries, screams or stomps her feet and she lets go of it. She continues on with her day as if the bad thing never happened. Somewhere along the way to adulthood we lose the ability to let go of things so easily. Our brains get in the way and our monkey brain goes into instant replay. Over and over we play the event in our minds. Trying to make sense of what happened and why. We’re generally left unfulfilled by an answer because there usually isn’t one. Bad things just happen.

Overall children are much happier than we are because of their ability to let go. They also tend to live in the moment rather than waiting for something better to come along in the future. They find fascination with everything they come across. Looking at things with fresh perspective rather than built up judgment or criticism.

The best time to see this affect is during the holiday season. Children are full of wonderment and excitement this time of year. While we’re irritated and bored waiting in line, they’re in awe at all the beautiful decorations that the store has put up. While we’re stressed about getting the house cleaned they’re excited that family is coming to visit. As adults we tend to dwell on the bad instead of the good. Happiness is all about perspective.

When your mind easily goes to the bad things in life, you’ve created in yoga what we call a negative samskara. A samskara is a pattern of thought. You get this pattern by repeating the same thoughts over and over. Imagine a flat plain and a trickle of water running through it. At first the trickle only creates a small grove. But over time that trickle could turn into a stream and eventually a river. One day there may be a canyon there. The river is our thoughts and the canyon is our bad pattern. We eventually create a pattern so ingrained we don’t even notice we’re doing it over and over.

 
Samskara’s don’t need to be permanent. Although it does take time to get out of them, with a little persistence and patience you can climb out of your canyon of bad habits. Every time you catch yourself doing something negative, replace it with a positive. I watched this movie last night where all these bad things kept happening to this woman. Rather than let it get her down, she chose to laugh at the problem. She chose not to care what others thought of her, but  rather how she felt about herself. There was a part where a bowl of punch spilled on her dress at the start of a party. Now if that happened to me it would ruin my night. But she chose to stay at the party, despite the ruined dress. She was able to laugh at the situation and she had a great time.

She reminded me of something I already knew, but had forgotten. Not every bad thing that happens has to ruin your day. Make the best out of it. Laughter is amazing at doing that. It’s all about changing your  mind set.
 

The trick is, as soon as a negative thought comes into your mind, immediately replace it with a positive. Once a negative thought takes root, it’s hard to get rid of it, so cut it loose before it can latch on. If something does manage to get under your skin, do what my five year old does. Have a good cry, scream or stomp. Get that anger and frustration out of your system right away so it doesn’t fester. Each time you think about it, smile and say, “I’ve let it go.” Better yet, instead of producing more anger, try laughing. See the humor in your situation. Sometimes you have to look pretty deep to find something funny about what you’re going through, but I’m sure there’s something in there to laugh about.

Happiness takes work at first, but with time, as you fill in your negative samskara, being happy will feel more natural. What will start to feel odd is your old negativity. You’ll wonder why you wasted so much of your life exhausting yourself with dwelling on the bad things. There is so much to enjoy this time of year, but it’s also the most stressful time of year, which makes it the perfect time to start filling in that canyon. Practice makes perfect!