Teaching Our Kids to Let Go of Tension

My daughter likes to make spider webs with masking tape. This is no easy task as the tape rips easily and doesn't always stick well to the surface she is attaching it to. This generally leads to frustration and tears.

As a five year old she is learning lots of new things, some come easy to her and others she has to work hard at. As a yoga therapist I've noticed that her posture, since she has started school, is taking on a different form. Tension is entering into her once stress free body. She worries about not getting things right and isn't sure how to deal with conflicts with other students at school. As her mom I just want to wrap her up in my arms, calm her down and protect her from the world. Realistically this can't happen so I need to teach her to let go of her stressors before they add up and lead to anxiety and health issues.

Children love learning yoga. Teaching yoga to children is completely different than teaching adults, a lot of patience may be needed on your part. You can't expect them to sit still and take deep breaths. They wiggle and giggle and contort themselves into positions that would make you dislocate something. Even though they aren't taking the situation seriously, they're still getting the healthy benefits, which is letting go of stress and frustration. The yoga poses are fun, but it's the breath work that is most beneficial to helping kids let go of stress.

When my daughter is working on something and having a hard time I tell her to stop what she is doing and take 10 of her yoga breaths (a long inhale and exhale), I also have her count them while she does it. By the time she's done, she's calmer and ready to take on the task again. If you don't think your kid will pause long enough to do 10 breaths, have them do 3-5. Have them place a hand on their belly and imagine it blowing up like a balloon when they inhale, and deflating when they exhale. Kids love imagery, get creative.

Teaching your children a way to handle their stress, rather than bottle it up inside, will set them up to cope with it better as adults. The more we do something, the better we get. Teaching them this simple breathing technique and reminding them to use it, will ingrain in them that when they feel that sensation of frustration or stress coming into their body, they just need to take a moment and breathe. Eventually it will become so automatic they won't have to give it much thought. It is easier to break a habit when they're children, rather then when they're adults.

Deep breathing won't solve all of the problems my daughter will face in her life, but at least it will slow her down for a moment so that she can think about solutions, rather than feel overwhelmed by the situation. I'll still be there to hold her (for as long as she'll let me), but as a mom I feel better knowing she has a little something to rely on.