My husband had shoulder surgery yesterday. After four dislocations he decided it was time to stabilize his joint. We had talked about the operation and the recovery and I felt fine about the situation. Being around hospitals and medicine was normal for me and I was excited about him not having to worry about his shoulder so much. While he was getting ready to go into surgery I felt calm. The nurse, doing her typical soothe the family routine actually made me somewhat anxious. She kept telling me that he was going to be ok and that there was nothing to worry about. She explained that it was ok for me to be worried or anxious. I wanted to put duck tape over her mouth and let her know that I’ve got it, this is no problem.
Later that afternoon, after I got him home, gave my daughter her after school snack and called his parents, it hit me, exhaustion. Not just a subtle thing but a I just want to go to bed now exhaustion. While on the exterior I felt fine, deep down, where I wasn’t paying attention, stress was building. The comments the nurse was making, although I consciously ignored them, subconsciously they were making their mark.
Stress is funny like that. It can be very subtle and we don’t know that it has engulfed us till we feel like we hit a wall. Being the smart yogi that I am I should have known this and taken precautions. While Jeff was in surgery I decided to write my blog, check my emails and get started on a good book a friend borrowed me. What I should have done was take ten minutes and check in. A little meditation to calm my nerves and see how I was really doing. Instead I powered through allowing myself to think that I was just fine.
There are situations in life where we know they are going to be stressful. Sometimes we surprise ourselves by not reacting as badly as we thought we would. But is that true? Perhaps on the outside we didn’t, but the old reactions are still there, just a bit deeper down. When you find yourself in one of these take a moment to just sit and listen to the mind and the body, see what is going on in there. When a loved one is in the hospital it is normal to feel stress and worry. I had convinced myself otherwise but my body knew better.
Once I realized how stressful my day really was I decided to give myself a little TLC. I got my hubby all tucked in and relaxed then I took care of myself. I could have just fallen into bed and hoped for the best in the morning, but I knew that it was going to be a long night. Waking up to help him with his pain medicine and just not sleeping well worrying about how he is feeling. In order to take care of others you need to take care of yourself.
I did this by having a slow deliberate practice. Almost like a walking meditation, but with a yoga flow. All I did was a sun salutation over and over again. Holding each pose for three to five breaths before slowly flowing into the next pose. It was like I was moving in slow motion. I focused on my breath and all the sensations I was feeling in my body. It brought me out of my thoughts and connected me back to my body. Once I was done I laid in Savasana and just relaxed. Ten minutes later when I got up I felt rejuvenated and ready for whatever the rest of the night was going to bring.
Stress is a part of life, we can’t avoid it. How we choose to deal with it is important. You have to deal with it. If you push it away and avoid it, it will only take root in your body and cause issues so you might as well face it now. Yoga helps with the stress you are currently dealing with and to let go of old stress. Any stressful event you have ever been through and not dealt with is in your body. That fight you had with your best friend in high school, not getting your first job out of college or running late for an appointment. The stress we store in our bodies builds up and once it hits a point of full capacity problems start to arise. We see this as irritable bowl syndrome, high blood pressure, heart burn, trouble sleeping, etc. The list of problems is long. When stress hits us our bodies try to make us more efficient to defend ourselves. It will shut down body systems it doesn’t deem useful for flight or fight. Our reproductive and digestive are two systems that get turned off. Chronic stress will cause these two systems to not work properly which is when you start to get the medical issues listed above.
It’s in your best interest to listen to your body, know when it is stressed and do something about it. Taking 15-30 minutes on your yoga mat is much cheaper and more convenient than a trip to the doctors office. Yoga can heal by stopping that which shuts our bodies down and that is stress. Stress also ages you so you can consider yoga the fountain of youth. So take the time today to take care of yourself, you deserve it.
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