I took my daughter to see her first theater performance yesterday. This was a first that was very exciting for our family. I was a bit teary eyed as I watched her excited face take in all the action on stage. My mind then began to wonder to her first day of kindergarten that would be starting in two weeks. My baby girl was about to enter into the world.
Part of me wants to keep her little forever. At 5 she loves me unconditionally, she doesn't judge me and forgives easily. When her teenage years come I fear these things won't be as abundant. Fear of what the future holds and wanting to relive the good moments of the past is an easy trap to find ourselves in. It's good to ponder about what life holds and nice to visit old memories. However what isn't healthy is when we are spending more time in the past or future than we are in the present.
When we aren't fully present we miss out on things. I will often find myself lost in thought and have completely missed out on something my daughter was trying to tell me. The present moment can sometimes be a scary place as we have no control over it. Unlike the past we don't know what is going to happen and unlike the future we imagine we can't think about what the outcome should be.
Being present doesn't need to be daunting. When we are fully present we can really get involved in the moment. When I'm playing with my child I may not really be there. In my mind I would rather be reading my book than trying to summon my inner child and come up with a reason whey Polly Pocket wants to try on yet another outfit. However if I'm present I will notice the delight in my daughters eyes that I'm giving her my full attention. I hear her laugh and see her creativity as she plays. Rather than watching the clock, I'm fully engaged in a moment that in a few years I would probably give anything to have back.
By being fully present with people we are showing them that we care. That what they are doing or saying is important to us. We look them in the eyes as they talk and we are quite and listen to what they are saying without interrupting to give our point of view. By being fully present with ourselves we are giving our bodies and minds the same consideration. When we are present and really listening to ourselves, without our inner critic, we will notice things that may have otherwise gone unseen. We may notice that we are tired or not as happy as we thought. We may notice that we are smiling and content in life and that we don't need some of the excesses we were chasing that we thought were making us happy.
The next time you are talking with someone or working on a project. Focus on being present. Every time the mind wanders, bring it back. Don't scold yourself for the wandering mind, just bring it back and try again. Over time you will see that you are able to be more present. Keep a journal of all the wonderful things you experience while being present, things you may have otherwise missed out on. Notice how your relationships with people change. In a technical world it is harder than ever to be present. Go to a coffee shop or restaurant and notice how many people are on their phone rather than engaging with the people at their table. The people in our lives are more important than the posts on Facebook.
Start today, make eye contact and listen without interrupting. You'll be amazed at what being in the present moment will produce.
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