Hitting The Mute Button On Our Inner Critic

I’m a mom so my inner critic is constantly questioning my every move with my child. After talking to other parents I’m coming to the conclusion that this is something every parent goes through. But you don’t have to be a parent to have a strong inner critic and this critic doesn’t have to rule your life. 

Some might say that their inner critic is the thing that drives them to be great. It pushes them to give whatever they are working towards their all. This is true, to some extent. Like everything in life you need balance, this includes your critic. 

If your inner critic is talking to you more often than not that it is not healthy. When we are constantly berating ourselves we wear ourselves down. We let doubt and fear creep in. Where once we trusted our motives and ideas, we will begin to question them. Our relationships with others may begin to suffer as our inner critic may find a voice and spread it’s venom to others. 

How to gain your silence and confidence back? When your inner critic starts to talk take a moment to stop and listen. Then think about what is being said. See if you can find any truth to it or see it for the story that it is. The thing our critic is most talented at is taking something small and turning it into something more. It’s like that telephone game we played as kids. The end result is rarely what it started out to be. 

Next, once you’ve seen the critic for what it is really saying, try and figure out where it is coming from. Was it something you were always told as a child? That you aren’t good enough, that you are lazy, that you aren’t worth anything? The things we hear from childhood can stay with us for life. It will creep up on us without our even knowing it. Stopping to witness where your thoughts are really coming from can help you to diffuse them.

Often times we are hard on ourselves because we literally don't know what we are doing. This is where education is key. Find a book or talk to a friend or professional who is knowledgable on the subject. The more informed you are about your choices in life, the better you will feel about them.

Find a positive mantra to use when your inner critic starts to rear its ugly head. Something like, I am good at what I'm doing or I made the right choice. It has to be something positive and use phrases like I am, not I will be.

Bring balance back into your life and live knowing that you are doing your best as that is all we can really do. I read a quote today that I loved. "Optimist, someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's more like a cha-cha." With that in mind, get out there and dance.