Alone and Loving It

I heard once that if you don’t know how to be alone, you will always be lonely. It seems in this technical world that we are more lonely than ever. This stems from a serious lack of quality time with people. We are connecting more over social media sites than we are in person. When we do manage to get together in person we aren’t really present. Our faces are glued to our smart phone.

As an experiment go sit at an outside café on a busy street and just watch people. How many people are engaging in conversation with each other verses talking on their phone or checking email, etc? I’m sure you won’t be surprised at the results. The consequence of this is that we are more lonely than ever. We aren’t getting that personal connection that is so important to being human and we don’t know how to shut our brains off and enjoy being alone. When given down time instead of reading, drawing or exercising (with no head phones but just enjoying the quiet), we are connected to technology. Our brains never get a rest.

Being alone isn’t a bad thing, it is actually good for you. It gives you one on one time with yourself where you can analyze your day and decompress. You can do something that you enjoy that you may not otherwise do with someone else. If you watch children they are often content to go off and play on their own after a long day of play. As a species we need this time to hit the reset button.

If your brain is used to being constantly connected, starting a practice of down time is a serious challenge so you will need to start small. If the thought of leaving your smart phone behind to go for a walk causes an anxiety attack, perhaps just turn it off and leave it in your pocket for the walk. After your brain realizes you didn’t miss anything, the next time you go for a walk you will feel more comfortable leaving it behind. Start with little increments of time and work yourself up to at least an hour a day. You will find that you are able to think more clearly and be more productive.

Where once you found down time a space to fill up, it will eventually become a time where you can just relish in doing nothing. By doing this you will be giving more to yourself which will allow you to give more to others in your life, preferably in person, not online.