Get Rid of Your Goals

If you want to achieve something you have to set a goal...right? Wrong. Once you hit high school you're constantly being asked what your goals are. What do you want to be when you grow up? Where do you want to go to college? If you're not going to college, what do you want to do with yourself? That's a lot of pressure. Even once you get through school or establish yourself in the workforce you are still expected to have goals. What is the next thing you are going to achieve, god forbid you just sit back and enjoy life a little.

I read this great article about not setting goals. Instead of setting goals, where if we don't achieve what we set our sights on we will be sadly disappointed, he wants us to set our focus on something instead. Here is a quote from the article that I love. "A goal defines an outcome you want to achieve; an area of focus establishes activities you want to spend your time doing. A goal is a result; an area of focus is a path. A goal points to a future you intend to reach; an area of focus settle you into the present." So well said.

Yogi's love working toward being present, it is a constant practice. When we set goals it is so hard to stay present. We are constantly checking to see if we are getting closer to our end goal. It is hard to be present when you are constantly looking ahead. When we aren't present we miss out on things, so we may eventually achieve our goal but we won't remember or enjoy the process it took to get there.

My goal when I decided to do my teacher training was to become a yoga therapist. I was so wrapped up with doing the trainings that I didn't enjoy the process. I didn't come out of it with as deep of an experience as I wish I had. I am now going back through my studies and redoing a lot of personal work that is required for the training. When I went through the first time I learned all the techniques, but I didn't experience all of them deeply, mostly because I was afraid of what I would uncover. In order to be a great teacher in any field you need to experience the material.

"An area of focus is a path." When I picture a path I picture a winding one that meanders through the woods. You generally aren't in a hurry when you are on a path, but enjoying the view, listening to the sounds of the forest and taking in all the smells. "A goal is a result." I see a result as a direct response to something I've done. Generally it would include working hard and feeling stressed. If I had to choose between taking a path to become a yoga therapist verses the result of becoming one, I would choose the path any day.

Life is about enjoying the journey. Goals are important, but they can cause a lot of stress when we aren't meeting out short term goals. We lose sight of our long term goals because they can seem so far away. By focusing on a single task and enjoying it for what it is there's no pressure. Your only concern is to enjoy doing what needs to be done and to accept the results. I believe that setting your focus on something will get you there just like setting a goal will. The difference is that with setting a focus you will enjoy the journey and possibly learn more.

If your goal is to get into an advanced pose, don't devote your entire yoga practice to getting into it. Perhaps you'll never get that pose perfect because your anatomy simply won't let you. Instead focus on the steps it takes to get you to that pose. Generally advanced poses are difficult to achieve because some part of your body needs to open up to get into it. Each time your body opens up and you move to the next prep pose you will feel great, verse instead of just setting the goal of that perfect pose and if in a month you still aren't there you're all upset.

Yoga Journal's website is a great resource for prep poses to get you into that final pose your aiming for. Check out this link to see how to eventually get into King Pigeon Pose. Focus on getting each prep pose perfect before moving onto the next and the results you will enjoy at the end will be worth it. Enjoy the journey down the path.

What's the Rush!

I was waiting at the bus stop with my kid today and when I heard the bus coming I called her over. I asked for a hug goodbye and she said, "Can't got to go". Even though the bus was still a few feet away, she felt she didn't have the time to say goodbye to me. That sucked, but what sucked even more was that it was my fault. One of my biggest anxieties I have is perpetually worrying about being late. I feel like I'm always rushing to get somewhere. Without meaning to I passed this on to my daughter, so at five she is worried about being late. That's not cool.

I consider myself lucky in the sense that I'm aware of this anxiety and that to some degree I'm working on it. Unfortunately I'm only at the point where I know how to calm myself down once I realize I'm getting all worked up. In the mornings when I'm trying to get my kid out the door I'm rushing her and myself and don't get to the calming down point till I wave goodbye as the bus is driving away. So all she sees is mommy worried about being late, she never gets to see me relax.

When working on something we don't like about ourselves you need to have awareness of the issue and also the strength to diligently work on it. For example, instead of waiting to take a break and calm down at the end of each episode, I could stop right in my tracks (even though I think by doing that I'll make myself late) and take a few deep breaths. It also helps to have a mantra, or a positive phrase that you say over and over in your head, or aloud if you need a bit more encouragement. I could say, when I'm feeling rushed, "It's OK, you have plenty of time." So if I feel I don't have time to take a few breaths, I can at least repeat my mantra over and over.

These two tricks, the breathing and the mantra, are simple, but can have a profound impact. You see, as awesome as our brains are, they are pretty easy to trick. If we say something enough times and give our brains a moment to let it sink in, lasting changes can be made.

I don't imagine my battle with this anxiety issue will be over with anytime soon. I've had it since childhood. I am hopeful though that my daughter won't have to deal with it. I will be teaching her the same breath work and mantra that I use so that when she sees me all worried about being late, she can calm herself down. I've also told her to remind mommy if she looks like she is worried. When I tell myself to calm down I don't always listen, but when it comes from her I will. The same can apply to you, have someone in your life who you care about and trust point out when you are doing that thing you are trying to stop doing. It's easier to beat something as a team rather than going solo.

There will be times that you fail, you will not stop and take a breath and you won't say your mantra. When this happens it's OK. Just try again the next time. Staying positive about changing will help you achieve your goal, while beating yourself up for slipping will only discourage you and make you want to just give up.

Everyone can change as long as they put in the effort. Write down your worst quirk. Something that drives you nuts and affects the people around you. Then write down a mantra, remember to keep it in the present. I am, not I will. Practice taking slow deep breaths. If your mind is really racing count to ten as you breathe. Last, find a friend or family member who will not be afraid to let you know when you're slipping. Good luck and just keep on taking those deep breaths, eventually you will realize you aren't having to take as many as you used to.

The Perfect Yoga Mat

I'm neurotic about my mat. I would rather practice on a bare floor than borrow a studio mat or bum one off of a friend. My mat is my space. It has to be just the right amount of sticky and thick enough so that when I'm on my knees I'm comfortable. I've had a lot of yoga mats over the years, in fact I still have my first mat. It was a forest green mat from Gaiam. I don't actually use it anymore, I think I keep it around for nostalgic reasons. It was a good first mat, but I found that it lost its stickiness after a few months. Nothing distracts you more in a class than slipping on your mat. The feeling of stability on your mat gives your mind the same sense of stability. When we are slipping in life it makes our mind feel unsettled.

The saying, "You get what you pay for." is so true when it comes to yoga mats. If you go to target and buy a mat for $19 you are going to get a crap mat. It will be thin and lose its stickiness quickly and is generally made in china with harmful chemicals. In a yoga class you do a lot of deep breathing with your face close to your mat (think chaturanga). You want to make sure that you aren't breathing anything harmful. 

There are a lot of mats to choose from out there and I've tried a few. I stopped looking when I found Manduka. Check out this link for Premium Yoga Mats from Manduka. I love their mats! They are an eco-friendly company so you know you're not going to be doing yoga on a toxic surface nor breathing in nasty fumes. They have a large variety of mats to choose from. Thin, thick, skinny, wide, light or heavy...just to name a few. All kinds of colors are available and when you are done you can even get a mat recycling kit.

The thing I love the most about this mat is that it stays sticky and the thickness of my mat hasn't thinned out. I've had my current mat for about three years and it is still as sticky and thick as when I bought it. I can wash it as well. I just get some mat wash (I love the one from Vermont Organics, it's their Organic Yoga and Exercise Mat Cleaner 16oz), scrub it down and throw it in the washer on gentle (with no soap) and let it air dry. Don't ever dry your mat in the sun, it will break down the rubber. My only complaint about this mat is that when I first got it it had a strong rubber smell, however you will find that all new mats smell. At least with this mat you know the smell isn't harming you.

Manduka mats aren't cheap. The cheapest one you can buy is $40. Like I mentioned above I had my current mat for about three years and I don't foresee buying another one anytime soon. I spent about $70 on mine. If I bought a cheap mat for $20, but had to replace it every year I would be spending the same amount over time so why not go with the better product?

Getting the perfect mat for your practice is important. You are creating your space to practice and your mat is an important aspect of that. Your mat is an extension of who you are. The color you choose, the thickness, etc. They all say a little bit about you. Making an investment in your yoga practice may also encourage you to stick with it. Take your time choosing your mat and find the right fit for you.

Hidden Stress

My husband had shoulder surgery yesterday. After four dislocations he decided it was time to stabilize his joint. We had talked about the operation and the recovery and I felt fine about the situation. Being around hospitals and medicine was normal for me and I was excited about him not having to worry about his shoulder so much. While he was getting ready to go into surgery I felt calm. The nurse, doing her typical soothe the family routine actually made me somewhat anxious. She kept telling me that he was going to be ok and that there was nothing to worry about. She explained that it was ok for me to be worried or anxious. I wanted to put duck tape over her mouth and let her know that I’ve got it, this is no problem.

Later that afternoon, after I got him home, gave my daughter her after school snack and called his parents, it hit me, exhaustion. Not just a subtle thing but a I just want to go to bed now exhaustion. While on the exterior I felt fine, deep down, where I wasn’t paying attention, stress was building. The comments the nurse was making, although I consciously ignored them, subconsciously they were making their mark.

Stress is funny like that. It can be very subtle and we don’t know that it has engulfed us till we feel like we hit a wall. Being the smart yogi that I am I should have known this and taken precautions. While Jeff was in surgery I decided to write my blog, check my emails and get started on a good book a friend borrowed me. What I should have done was take ten minutes and check in. A little meditation to calm my nerves and see how I was really doing. Instead I powered through allowing myself to think that I was just fine.

There are situations in life where we know they are going to be stressful. Sometimes we surprise ourselves by not reacting as badly as we thought we would. But is that true? Perhaps on the outside we didn’t, but the old reactions are still there, just a bit deeper down. When you find yourself in one of these take a moment to just sit and listen to the mind and the body, see what is going on in there. When a loved one is in the hospital it is normal to feel stress and worry. I had convinced myself otherwise but my body knew better.

Once I realized how stressful my day really was I decided to give myself a little TLC. I got my hubby all tucked in and relaxed then I took care of myself. I could have just fallen into bed and hoped for the best in the morning, but I knew that it was going to be a long night. Waking up to help him with his pain medicine and just not sleeping well worrying about how he is feeling. In order to take care of others you need to take care of yourself.

I did this by having a slow deliberate practice. Almost like a walking meditation, but with a yoga flow. All I did was a sun salutation over and over again. Holding each pose for three to five breaths before slowly flowing into the next pose. It was like I was moving in slow motion. I focused on my breath and all the sensations I was feeling in my body. It brought me out of my thoughts and connected me back to my body. Once I was done I laid in Savasana and just relaxed. Ten minutes later when I got up I felt rejuvenated and ready for whatever the rest of the night was going to bring.

Stress is a part of life, we can’t avoid it. How we choose to deal with it is important. You have to deal with it. If you push it away and avoid it, it will only take root in your body and cause issues so you might as well face it now. Yoga helps with the stress you are currently dealing with and to let go of old stress. Any stressful event you have ever been through and not dealt with is in your body. That fight you had with your best friend in high school, not getting your first job out of college or running late for an appointment. The stress we store in our bodies builds up and once it hits a point of full capacity problems start to arise. We see this as irritable bowl syndrome, high blood pressure, heart burn, trouble sleeping, etc. The list of problems is long. When stress hits us our bodies try to make us more efficient to defend ourselves. It will shut down body systems it doesn’t deem useful for flight or fight. Our reproductive and digestive are two systems that get turned off. Chronic stress will cause these two systems to not work properly which is when you start to get the medical issues listed above.

It’s in your best interest to listen to your body, know when it is stressed and do something about it. Taking 15-30 minutes on your yoga mat is much cheaper and more convenient than a trip to the doctors office. Yoga can heal by stopping that which shuts our bodies down and that is stress. Stress also ages you so you can consider yoga the fountain of youth. So take the time today to take care of yourself, you deserve it.

Online Yoga

If only we lived in a world where we had the time, and perhaps the money, to go to a yoga studio whenever we needed a yoga class. With life as busy as it is and in some places the lack of yoga studios or classes, getting to a daily yoga class is a rarity for most but it is possible with the internet.

With the market flooded with yoga teachers and studios, teachers have had to get creative with finding a place to teach. Eight years ago when I graduated I was told not just to look at studios for teaching but hospitals, businesses and recreation departments. Now days new teachers have another option, teaching online. If you have a fast enough internet you can open up a yoga studio online. The beautiful thing about this is that the cost is close to nothing. For a student, an online class or video is a fraction of the cost of going to a local studio. Just to point out, I don't want to take traffic away from the studios, since I can't teach online I would be stealing my own students! My goal is to share the love of yoga for those who can't make it into the studios for their practice.

Some teachers would argue that this isn't true yoga. Part of being a teacher is being present with your students. Being there to make adjustments, to have your eyes on the students to make sure that they are practicing safely and to just feel the vibe of the room. They say by teaching online that you are not honoring the true essence of yoga.

But what about that mom that used to do yoga all the time before she had her baby and now can't find the time to get to class? What about the yogi that lives out in the middle of nowhere and is getting tired of the same old videos and wants to take a class with a live person? What about the yogi who just hasn't found a teacher she can connect with and is thinking of giving up yoga entirely?

Online yoga can bring yoga to those who otherwise may not have access to it or have a busy schedule and have limited time to take a class. It's a safe place for a new student to explore the practice without the worry of how they look and they can pick a class that is appropriate for their skill level. You can change your videos to match your practice as it changes over the years. Yoga is not a one size fits all so having a variety of yoga videos to choose from is essential.

For teachers it considerably broadens their student base allowing them to teach more classes. By not having to drive to various studios the teacher can just turn on his or her computer and they are at class within seconds. One thing I love about the video classes is the learning opportunity. I'm inspired by new sequences and techniques from the comfort of my own home once I put my daughter to bed.

I would love to teach online, however where I live doesn't have a fast enough nternet connection so I will have to live through others. As a student check out Gaiam Yoga Studios. This site is full of videos of all styles and levels taught by Rodney Yee and Colleen Saidman. Whether you are a beginner or an advanced student, have 15 minutes or a hour and a half, you will find a video to suit your practice. I'm partial to Rodney Yee as his power yoga video is the first yoga I ever did. His videos inspired me to become a yoga teacher.

If you are looking for a live person rather than a video check out Powhow. You can connect to a live yoga teacher or class and participate from the comfort of your own home. If you are a teacher this is a site where you can set up your own class. This site isn't yoga specific and includes all kinds of online lessons. A high speed internet connection is required so check your system to make sure it is up to speed before you make any purchases.

Yoga is so good for you whether it is in person or via the internet. There is nothing better than being in a live class, feeling the energy and having a teacher at your disposal, but that isn't always possible. Online classes and videos give you the next best thing. It may bring yoga into more people's lives, allowing them to lead a balanced life without the hassle of trying to carve out time to get to class, find parking or a get a babysitter. I hope to someday join the online community, but till then I hope you can enjoy it for me.

Add Some Playfulness to Your Practice and Your Life

Have you ever been to a yoga class and just felt like it was the same sequence over and over again? Perhaps I just described your home practice...yoga burnout happens to all of us, it has happened to me many a times. I am actually in the middle of one. Some people thrive on repetition, think Bikram lovers. Other get bored, we like to change things up. I never plan a class, I make up the sequence as I go, but even with that I can sometimes get in a rut and do the same poses.

I went to Kripalu last month and was inspired by one of the teachers there. Some of the poses he linked together were fresh and fun. I loved how he taught us the sequence then let us do it a few times to the rhythm of our breath. It was liberating and fluid once I figured out my rhythm. It personalized the class. I also took some yoga dance classes there and loved the playfulness of it and just how great it felt to let my body move wherever and however it wanted to the music.

Often times when I look at my students faces in class they look so serious. They are focusing on their breath, their alignment and what they are going to have for dinner. Many times during a class I will remind them to smile. Yoga is there to enlighten you, not weigh you down with worries. Don't worry if your pose isn't perfect, don't worry if you lost track of your breath and don't worry if you can't keep your mind present. Even as I teach my mind can wander. The important part is that you keep coming back to the breath, back to the body and back to the present moment. If you get behind the flow, who cares, you will eventually catch up. Do what is most needed for your body.

Bring some creativity into your practice. Pick out some of your favorite poses and figure out how to link them together with the breath. Hold each pose for one breath before flowing into the next. Imagine it like a dance. Below is an example.

Chair Pose

Stork Pose, stand tall with feet slightly apart. bend and lift your right knee so it is parallel to the ground, engage your abs. For more challenge extend the leg out but make sure to keep the spine long and strong.

Warrior III or airplane (airplane is the same as warrior III but the arms are out to the side. If that is too hard you can put your hands on your hips. Focus on leveling out the hips.

High Lunge

Stork Pose

Tadasana

Flow through 3 to 5 times on the right side (meaning your right leg will come up in stork, back in warrior III and high lunge) before you move to the left. Move slowly, with intention and with the breath. Focus on your alignment, especially the hips. Flowing sequences like this when incorporated with the breath are very calming and can create a lot of heat to warm up the body so are good at the beginning of a class. The sequence above is a strengthening sequence for the hips, legs and core. As you do the sequence don't think about how hard it is just focus on the breath and smile. Studies show that even if we don't mean it, a smile can still trigger happiness so fake it till you make it.

You can link just about any pose together. The trick is that it shouldn't be too complicated a transition and it should be safe for your body. Don't link too many poses as you don't want to forget half way through the sequence where you're going next.

Get creative and have fun. When we are bored with things we need to change them up a bit. Bring out your inner child, lighten up a bit and dance.

Do You Need an Adjustment?

I'm not much of an adjuster. I was taught how to give students adjustments but it was never my thing. Some might say this isn't a good practice as a teacher and that students need adjustments in order to learn proper alignment. I feel there are a few ways to go about this. If a teacher has lots of experience with adjustments and knows their students well that they should adjust, but always with the students permission. By knowing your students well I mean their body type, flexibility, injuries and health risks. However, if you are a new teacher and you are eager to try out your adjustments on students you are at risk of hurting your students. For students and teachers there are a few things to consider.

I find that students are incorrectly in a pose for three reasons. One is that they physically can't get into the pose and adjusting them into it will pull on something that just can't give. Even a minor adjustment can be too much and could pull a tight muscle. Every adjustment I've ever had has been applied with gentle, but generous force. I've even had to ask teachers to back off.

The second reason an adjustment may be needed is lack of awareness. Students may think that their body is in the perfect position. When an adjustment is given it will bring awareness to the student that their body isn't where they think it is. This type of adjustment can be given verbally by a teacher. I will typically give a few verbal cues and if the student just isn't getting it I will go over and ask if I can adjust them. I feel that if the student has to move the body part themselves it sticks with them more so than having a teacher do it. Having the student adjust themselves will hopefully lead them to be more curious about their practice and get them to consider what else they can adjust.

The third reason is for the student to go deeper into the pose. I'm on the fence about this one. Hyper- flexibility is a major issue in yoga and is starting to gain exposure. Pushing our bodies into these hyper-flexible positions isn't good for our joints. It causes our bodies to lack in stability and can lead to arthritis, tendinitis and bursitis. The targets for these types of adjustments are always the flexible looking yogi's. If you are in a pose where you aren't feeling a stretch, you have gone beyond your stretch point (the amount of stretch that is healthy for a muscle) and you are just putting yourself into dangerous territory. The more you push the more likelihood that you will be stretching tendons and ligaments instead of muscle. If this is you, don't focus on the stretch in the pose, but the strength. If you are unsure how to do that, ask your teacher how you can adjust the pose. The good side to this one is that if you aren't hyper-flexible, a gentle nudge into the pose can feel great.

A teacher should always ask if you want an adjustment. Your body and mat are your space and the teacher should ask to enter into that space. It is ok to say no and it is so important to tell the teacher if the adjustment they are giving is hurting you. I was taking a class once with a friend and a teacher, without asking, pushed her deeper into down dog. My friend was new to yoga and didn't know to speak up. She pulled her calf muscle because the teacher pushed her past her edge.

If you are a teacher, make sure that the student is fully into the pose before you ask to adjust. Some students take their time getting into poses, going through their checklist of alignment issues. Don't be in a rush to adjust. If you're the student and this is happening to you, let the teacher know you aren't ready to be adjusted yet.

Adjustments have their benefit, but they can also cause issues. To get the best out of your adjustment you need to speak up. Let the teacher know if you are ok with an adjustment. Let them know if they are pushing too hard. Let them know if the position they put you in is uncomfortable and by all means ask questions and give feedback. A teacher may not know they are doing something wrong unless it is pointed out to them. If you need a little more help in a pose than can be offered in class, speak to the teacher afterwards. They may be able to help you then or can set up a private session. A good adjustment can really make a difference in your practice, but a bad one can prevent you from practicing at all.

Play with making adjustments of your own. You can make a pose new each time you enter into it. Focus on a different part of the body each time. For example in triangle, it is common to go into the same position each time, like on auto pilot. By doing this you won't get any benefit from the pose. Instead, next time you go into the pose focus on your legs. Are they engaged? Are your knees locked or is there a subtle bend? Is the position of your feet correct? The time after that focus on the hips. Are they opening up or is your pelvis twisting towards the floor? Bring your hand to your mid shin instead of the floor and see how your hips react. Each time you come into a pose, try a subtle adjustment, change it up a bit and see what you find. Remember if you can't find a stretch, work on strength.

The key to a healthy yoga practice is to keep on discovering. Finding new and better ways to get into a pose. Your body is different everyday and you need to explore that in your practice. No matter who makes the adjustment, remember to always listen to your body and decide if it is right for you.