Can Yoga Make You Authentic?

The definition of authentic is interesting. Au-then-tic: of undisputed origin; genuine; not false or copied; real...are you authentic? I wonder about that sometimes. I'm a people watcher and I often question if someone is truly expressing themselves? Is what they show on the outside a true representation of who they are on the inside? A good way to tell is by their body language.

I read a short article about how to see if you're authentic and it asked you four questions.

1. What's your voice doing? When you're acting natural and in your comfort zone your voice will reflect that. If you aren't, you tend to use a high voice. A sign that you're nervous because you aren't being true to yourself.
2. What's your body doing? Are you holding tension? If so why? What are you doing, saying, wearing or thinking? Your body knows you're up to something and it's giving you a warning that you need to change because you aren't comfortable with what you're doing or being.
3. Are you breathing? We hold our breath when we're stressed or uncomfortable.
4. Are you present or hyper-vigilant? When we're in the present moment we're being true to ourselves. We're looking at the situation for what it is, not trying to change it. When we're in an environment or situation that we aren't comfortable with, we have to be hyper-vigilant in order to protect ourselves. We're unsure of being accepted so we have to stay on top of our charade. 

Authenticity doesn't come easy. We're in a world of fades, something that is cool this week may change the next. Money is a big part of this. It's starts when we're children with kids picking on us because we're different. I often wonder when my daughter, who is now in kindergarten, will have to start dealing with this. We grow into adulthood with this thought that in order to fit in we have to be like everyone else. The kids who did stay authentic were often considered weird or outcasts. It's so sad that our society celebrates this lack of authenticity.

Yoga gives you the courage to be authentic. It does this by giving you the tools to pull back all the layers of false identities that you've gained over the years. You eventually find yourself at your core, your true self and you can see who you really are under all the muck. It teaches you not to be afraid of who you are and that your true friends and family will love the real you. It shows you how important it is to surround yourself with people that accept you and know that it's ok to let go of the ones that don't. Let go of things that don't serve you, that includes people. Check out the Yamas and Niyamas. A good start to living an authentic life.

A lot of emotions flow in a yoga class. People cry, get frustrated and laugh. People are very honest in this setting. You learn over time that it's refreshing to show your real emotions in front of people. Yogi's are well known for the support they give fellow students. We're realistic in the fact that we know everyone suffers and everyone needs help at some point. We won't judge you for your choices, but encourage you to be who you are and give you a helping hand along your journey.

Yoga teaches you about self doubt. A lot of times we're unauthentic because we doubt we'll be accepted for who we really are. Yoga brings you out of your shell and slowly exposes the real you. It's done in a safe environment, without judgment so you realize it's ok to expose the real you. When you're judged, you learn not to take it personally, it's not about you, but that someone is fighting their own internal battle. Make sure you give that courtesy to others. If you don't like being judged, I bet others don't either.

Nurturing environments are important in gaining the courage to be authentic. Don't set yourself up for failure by bringing your true self out to a bunch of people who you know aren't accepting. Have the courage to let those people fade from your life. If they have a hard time accepting you when you're fake, how will they judge you when the real and best part of you comes out? Find people who are like you, who share your interests and ideas. As hard as it is to let go of a toxic relationship, it's even harder to stay in it.

Not sure who the real you is because it's been so long since you've seen him or her? Meditate on it a bit. Try a walking or a seated meditation. Another way to get deeper into your thoughts is to do a cluster chart. Write one thing down about you that you like and circle it. Then any other traits or ideas that pop into your head write down and circle that. A sample of a cluster chart is to the right.

 If you can't think of anything to write at first, just start writing words down that pop into your head, or just come up with something to start, your hair color, what your wearing, how you feel people see you. The creative juices will start flowing. If you find you've written more negative than good things, it's really time to change and find the real you. Being unauthentic makes us unhappy.

Once you have your chart, take a highlighter and mark the traits you find the most desirable. That's the authentic you. Come up with a mantra, a positive saying that you can repeat to yourself when you're feeling unsure about presenting the real you. Like, "I'm living a fuller life as the real me." or something positive to reinforce your authentic self. There will be haters, people who aren't understanding. Remember to let those people go. They're probably just upset that you had the courage to do what they couldn't.

Find a support group, my choice, a local yoga class. Make a friend there that you can talk with. Odds are that they're on their own personal journey. Yoga takes us places we never thought we could go and it's always nice to have a friend along on the journey. Someone you can talk things over with and not feel judged. 

Have you ever come across an old person who is authentic? It's the one that has ice cream smeared on her chin but doesn't care. She laughs as she wipes it off and continues to eat the rest of her cone with a smile. Maybe her hair is a mess or her outfit is outdated, but you know what, she's happy to be alive and healthy. She's grateful for the family she has in her life. She's learned throughout her years that life is too short to worry about the little things. That what's important is enjoying your ice cream and being happy with who you are in life. Please don't wait until you're old to realize this. Find your authentic self today and start living how you want to live now.

The Legal Future of Music in Yoga

The owner of the studio I work for sent me an interesting email this morning. It was regarding the future of playing music in yoga classes and how it may eventually cost us money. I was shocked at first, but then thinking of all the other legal issues that have been invading the sanctity of yoga, why be surprised at one more.

Music has always moved me. I still remember the music from the first yoga class I took. The songs were perfectly timed with the pace of the class. When I was working hard the music was fast paced and helped me power through. When it was time to relax it was slow and invited me to go deeper into my Savasana. Music allows students to go deeper into their practice. I love using it in my own class and I'm saddened by the thought of not being able to use it because I can't afford to pay for a license.

Some yoga purist think that music shouldn't even be a part of yoga. That it's distracting. You can't fully connect to the breath and the body if your mind is distracted by a song. When I first started yoga I couldn't keep my mind focused on my breath and body to save my life. But I could focus on the music. Over time my attention was calmed by the music and I could move on to watching my breath and listening to my body. Music was my meditation training wheels. Without it, I probably wouldn't have fallen in love with yoga, because to my anxious mind, quiet was scary.

A group called ASCAP (The American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers) is targeting yoga studios as a source of licensing revenues. Letters have been sent out requiring these studios, who are playing music from artist connected to ASCAP, to purchase a license for the music they're playing. ASCAP"s mission is as follows: "We protect the rights of ASCAP members by licensing and distributing royalties for the non-dramatic public performances of their copyrighted works. Our licenses encompass all who want to perform copyrighted music publicly." According this this, a yoga class is a "non-dramitic public performance".

I support the right to be protected. Music has changed a lot over the years and artists are losing money. However, the music I play in my class I bought. I paid for it on iTunes. I paid the artist. This is true for most yoga studios. Teachers for the most part put together their own playlists on their smart phone and bring it to class to attach to the sound system. It isn't even part of the yoga studio. It seems to me like they're wanting me to pay them many times over as you have to pay for a new license each year.

There is also the issue of class size. I've had classes as small as three people and as big as twenty. Some of the larger studios can have up to 70 plus people in them. Where is the cut off for this license? Should I have to pay the same as the bigger studios even though I'm not playing the music to as many people? 

The music I play in my class is, for the most part, background noise. People aren't coming to specifically listen to it. It isn't some radio station or Pandora (which is covered by a blanketed license, as is Spotify, so is probably ok to use), but songs I paid for. I'm not promoting music, I'm practicing and teaching yoga. The point of this license is to have studios pay who will be playing an artist's music for a large crowd. A yoga class isn't a large crowd nor is it a performance. According to ASCAP's definition of non-dramtic performance, yoga doesn't even seem to fit the bill. But with all law, it is open to interpretation and that is what's scary for the future of music in yoga.

This makes me think of royalty rights that a radio station has to pay or a commercial gym that has the music playing over their speakers non stop. Seems like they're over reaching trying to get into the pockets of yoga studios (most of whom don't have the extra money to spare). Sure there are some big yoga studios out there that probably don't have the teacher streaming the music off of their playlist and should pay the license, but to categorize them all into one group and make them pay, seems harsh.

This is still in the early stages, but who knows what will come. Yoga is becoming more of a business than a practice. Whoever thought that you could patent the floor plan for a live yoga class via video. Yup, it's been done. Or Bikram trying to copyright a sequence of yoga postures. This is all getting so complicated. Whatever happened to just doing yoga? The more popular yoga gets the more we lose touch with its core principals.

Gary Kissiah wrote an informative article on this topic here. Check it out. If you're a teacher you should give it a read. Who knows what the future of music in our classes will look like. For now I will enjoy playing the music I paid for to my students. I'll savor yoga for its purity, and try to let go of the disgust I feel at the people who are turning this tradition into a business deal.

Letting Go of Imperfections

I'm not perfect, shocking I know, but I bet you aren't either. Truth be told, none of us are but for some reason we all strive for it. How we look, what we do and the money we make are typically out there on display to be judged by the whole world...or is it? How much of who we are and what we do is done simply for an impression to be made on others? How many of the great ideas in the world would have gone undiscovered if we were all alike?

I've never been that person who did something because it was the thing to do. I always found it a bit annoying mostly because I didn't understand why the thing was being done in the first place. I also don't like to feel uncomfortable (never did the skinny jeans thing for that reason). I'm not saying that I've never felt like I needed to improve on something because I was afraid of being judged, I am human after all, but I've learned over the years that what matters more than impressing others, is impressing myself.

Many people will find themselves in an unhappy spot because they've been so busy making themselves look good to others, that they've lost touch with what they really want. It's like that click in high school, where we all wore our hair in a ridiculous style because some random cool kid was bored one day and came up with a style that borderlined insane (the 90's). How much thought do you really put into what you wear, the work you do or the things you buy? If you practice yoga are you in a class that's right for you or are you doing what's popular despite what it might be doing to your body?

The pressure to fit in is present in yoga. Yoga's popularity over the years has soared, especially styles like power and vinyasa yoga. I love both of these practices, but they aren't suitable for everyone. I've seen so many students try and stick with this practice and trash their bodies in the process all to fit in with what's cool. Just because that crazy bendy girl in class can do an arm balance with her legs in lotus doesn't mean you should. Let's be practical people.

Yoga teaches us to let go of our egos. To let go of the things that we hate the most about ourselves and be ok with them. Why are we so worried about others judging us but have no trouble judging ourselves? We're our own worst critic. We'll change in an instant for someone else but won't do that for ourselves. Why is that?

The moral of the story? Be comfortable in your own skin. Be happy with all the choices that you make in your daily life. When you're choosing to do or buy something, make sure you're choosing it for you and not to impress someone else. The happiness of the life you live is dependent on choices you make daily. Check the tone and criticism of the voice in your head. Is it you that's speaking or someone else? Perhaps it's a parent or friend. There are lots of people in our lives who think they know what's best for us, have told us we aren't good enough or don't look perfect. The only person who can be a good judge of that is you.

Learning to let go of our imperfections and embracing them isn't easy and it takes time. Most often people don't even notice these things, but we blow them up in our mind and we think they're out there for the whole world to see (like that grey hair that just keeps popping up). Take some time to meditate on what you consider an imperfection. Investigate if other people see this as well or if it's just you. Picture what your life would be like without this imperfection. Perhaps come up with ways to turn it into something great or fix it so it isn't an issue for you anymore. Wishing something isn't there isn't the same as facing it and fixing it. Look your imperfections in the eye and deal with and accept them. It's similar to talking about the elephant in the room. Maybe that elephant will never be gone from your life, but you at least can learn to get comfortable with it.

Yoga teaches us that we can work with imperfection. Some poses for us will never be attainable and we have to learn to be ok with that. Perhaps you have an injury that your body won't ever heal from. You have to accept that and adapt your practice. The same is true in life. Accept and adapt. Don't judge and wallow. Life is too short for that. Do you really think when we're 80 we're going to care about something that seems so important in our 20's and 30's? Think about the things in your life that really do matter and focus on those. Life is just too short to worry about anything else.

Conquering Handstand

Sometimes life is better upside down. When things get too serious it's nice to get a fresh perspective. Inversions teach us about strength, persistence and patience. The actual act of going upside down revitalizes the body, it's better than a cup of coffee. Inversions also add a cardiovascular workout to your practice. They're a beautiful thing, but for some a bit daunting.

There are a lot of things that have to come together for you to get into a handstand. Strength is not the only thing you need. Flexibility in the shoulders, awareness of where your hips and legs are, the ability to contract and relax as needed and an emotional willingness to let go and try something that may scare you.

Many students when first trying a handstand will throw themselves up against a wall and, in vain, attempt to pull their feet off the wall, only to crash to the ground or back to the wall. You can't force yourself into this pose. It's a balance of body and mind. Sheer will won't do it.

There are a few things you need to check before you go into your handstand. Shoulder flexibility, core strength and mental control. If you have tight shoulders you won't be able to rotate enough to get smoothly up into the handstand position and hold it. Without the core strength and control you won't be able to maintain the pose.

To test your shoulders to see if they're open enough for this inversion, come into Dolphin pose. If you're feeling a pretty intense stretch here, be aware that your shoulders may hinder your ability to get into headstand. But don't worry, you now have something to work towards. A routine of good shoulder stretches listed below will help to open up the rotation in your shoulder joints and allow you to invert with ease. Don't force yourself into handstand before your shoulders are ready, you'll only hurt them.

Dolphin
Eagle Arms
Reverse Plank
Sphinx: you can do this with your palms down or together. Lift up and expand through the chest.
Strap stretch: Fold a strap in half and hold one end in each hand. Stand in chair pose holding the strap in front of you. Space your arms wide enough so that you can rotate it above your head, and if flexibility allows, behind you. You'll basically be making an arch from in front of you to behind you, like making an upside down U over your head. If you have any popping or clicking span your arms wider. Don't push through, only rotate as much as the joint comfortably allows. Go slow and move with the breath, inhale up, exhale down. Over time you should be able to expand your range of motion.

Once your shoulders are open, the next thing to work on is your core strength. Come into plank and hold it until you feel your abs. The area in your abs that you're feeling is the same muscles you'll need to engage when lifting up into handstand. The biggest mistake students make with this pose is to use momentum to get up rather than core strength. If you're flinging yourself up, you'll never get off the wall and into the middle of the room. Without the wall you'll just keep going and crash to the floor.

The best way to learn to use your core is to come into dolphin pose and kick up. The reason you want to start in dolphin instead of on your hands is that the distance is less to kick up. It's like putting on training wheels. Start with small kicks and notice the point in which your abs kick in. About half way up your abs should take over and pull you the rest of the way up. Once you can get up with control, leave dolphin behind and try kicking up on your hands.

Now that you're up on the wall, you need to get control of your hips and abs. When we're leaning on the wall we have a pretty good bend in our low back. Engage your abs and tuck your hips, this will pull your legs off of the wall. Make sure when you do this that you don't tense your shoulders. Allow for movement and flexibility in your body, a stiff body can't hold handstand. It's like any balance pose, allow for fluidity and you will stay balanced. Lift and expand your chest, don't allow it to collapse. Also make sure not to sink into the shoulder joints. Extend throughout the entire body, from the wrists to the toes.

Good poses to help strengthen your abs are:
 
Plank: You can do this pose either on your hands, or if your shoulders are tight on your forearms.
Boat
Triangle: Don't place your hand on your leg, use your core to hold yourself up.
Locust: to add more challenge, extend the arms out to the side or out in front of you.

When our bodies go upside down, any postural imbalance that you had corrected while upright will come back to haunt you. Our brains are funny like that. Simply correct the issue like you did before. You just have to let your upside down brain catch up with your upright one.

If your neck and upper back hurt after practicing handstand, notice if you're holding tension in that area when you're doing the pose. Also, relax your hands, don't grip the floor. As for your neck, when you go up in the pose, don't crank your neck to look at the floor, but just let the head drop and hang. If you have any serious medical conditions, talk with your doctor before doing this pose. If you have glaucoma, inversions should be avoided.

If you can hold a long plank then you can do handstand. If you can hold a long plank and you feel weak and wobbly in handstand, your body isn't the problem, it's your mind. Inversions can be scary. If you like a lot of order and predictability in your life, headstand is going to challenge you. You have to learn to let go and trust that things will be ok, even when they're turned upside down. Leaving the stability of the ground to take flight teaches us that sometimes in life you just have to let go and jump into the unknown. Yes, you will fall, yes you may get hurt, but eventually you will find that you're strong and stable and the confidence that you gain from taking that jump was worth it.

Is Tension Your Security Blanket?

Anger and fear are powerful. When you're feeling weak and vulnerable the surge of power you feel when you get angry can be addicting. That is why anger can be so dangerous. Drugs aren't the only thing that we get addicted to, emotions can be easily abused as well. There have been situations when I can feel the anger rising in me. My conscious brain knows that I need to calm down but the surge of adrenaline that is running through my body feels so good that I don't want to stop. Letting go of my anger is a wonderful release. I feel powerful and in control of the situation, but the results I get from it leave me feeling awful. Like the druggie that comes down from a high, the lows are the lowest.

The tension that we hold in our bodies is a constant reminder of our stress, anger and fear. But is also reminds us of how strong we were when we fought back and gives us a sense of protection. I was doing hypnosis the other day and the woman was doing a great job at getting me to relax. I noticed however that I had to keep letting go of tension in my body, it kept creeping back up. As I'm trying to relax I kept thinking, why can't I let go of this tension? How is it serving me? It must be giving me something, otherwise I could easily let it go.

Tension is the bodies way of telling you that something is wrong. It's our alarm system. Typically a lot of the alarms we set off are all in our head and unnecessary. We feel safer if we're always on guard and ready for anything, but that is a painful way to live, literally.

My daughter has a blanket named "Fuzzy" that's she's had since she was a toddler. Whenever she's hurt or sad she loves to snuggle with it. It calms her and helps her feel and safe. I find that my tension is the same way, only not as comforting. When I was trying to let go of the tension in my body I found that I was afraid to do so. I felt that it would leave me unprotected. It was like the first day of school when I told my daughter she couldn't take her Fuzzy with her. She felt vulnerable. What if she needed it? I felt the same way about my tension. If I learned to let go of it, how would I know when something was wrong? How would my body warn me? Without my tension I feel vulnerable and open to attack.

Truth is, my body would still tell me. I'm hard wired for that natural response of fight or flight. The difference is, that I would let it go once it served me. Not hold onto it like a shield. My body could relax after the confrontation rather than stay tense and worry about the next thing coming.

My daughter eventually learned that she could handle the hard things in life without her Fuzzy and I have to learn that I can let go of tension and deal with things as they come rather than walking around guarded all the time. It's ok to let things go and not worry about them all the time. It's ok to deal with anger in a healthy way rather than let it build up till it explodes. Not only will my life be calmer and relationships be smoother, but my body will feel better. I won't be walking around with tension, but free and relaxed. By starting off relaxed in tense situations, rather then already wound up, I'll be better able to handle them. Thinking before I act rather than letting the adrenaline rush of anger dictate my actions.

Try the following relaxation technique and see how well you let go of tension. If you can't seem to release it, meaning you get a body part relaxed only to find a few minutes later that it's tense again, keep trying to relax that body part till it lets go. After you're done, journal your thoughts. Why do you think you can't let go? What are you protecting? What would happen if you let go? If you don't get any answers, try the exercise again the next day. Keep at it, eventually you'll get a response.

Lying in a comfortable position work your way through the body relaxing each part. Inhale a sense of relaxation and on the exhale completely let go. If it helps, you can imagine a relaxing color and on the exhale flood the body part you're trying to relax with that color. It also helps to imagine that you're in a relaxing and safe place. Work from your toes up to your head.

Relax through the following body parts: Feet, ankles, calves, knees, thighs, hips, butt, low back, upper back, stomach, chest, fingers, hands, lower arms, upper arms, shoulders, neck, jaw, eyes, forehead and entire head. Don't worry if you forget a body part, remember the goal is to just let go.

 There are a lot of CD's on conscious relaxation. If you're not up to doing your own, try one of those. iTunes is full of them.

We all hold on to things for a reason. Finding out why you hold on to tension will give you the answer to letting it go. My daughter still uses her Fuzzy now and then, but she's learning to cope without it more and more the older she gets. As adults we will always have that scared child in us and it's nice to have a security blanket. Instead of that blanket being your tension, why not let it be your belief that you are strong enough to handle the hard things that life throws at you. Let your faith in yourself be your security.