Cultivating Patience in an Impatient World

 

 

I was checking out at the grocery store this morning, when a woman came in and started asking the teller about what she should do with the bottles she wanted to return. This of course distracted the teller from helping me as she was explaining to the woman what she needed to do. The teller then tried to finish helping me, while taking care of the woman’s bottle return, because the woman made it clear she wanted to be helped right away. All I could think about while this was going on, besides being late for work, is how impatient our society has gotten. Instead of waiting to be helped at the customer service desk or waiting in line at the checkout, this woman interrupted what the teller was doing and wanted to be taken care of.

Sadly this isn’t a rare thing. Take a day and be aware of all the times people are impatient, I think you will be shocked. People pulling out in front of you, interrupting you while you’re trying to speak or like my situation this morning, too impatient to wait their turn so they cut in line. Why are we all in such a hurry? How are our needs more important than another’s?

I’m not immune from impatience, when I’m running late I find myself doing the very things that annoy me about others when they’re impatient. However, I find when I’m impatient I feel physically and emotionally awful. When I’m running around and getting irritated because I have to slow down and wait for someone, my body physically reacts. I get anxious, my heart rate speeds up, I feel tension creeping into my shoulders and I get short tempered. None of these reactions are going to get me where I want to be any faster. All they’ll do is give me a headache when I get there.

 We’re human and it is natural to be impatient. How we choose to react is up to us. Take a moment to ask yourself why you’re being so impatient? Are you angry with the situation? Are you judging someone’s actions because you don’t agree with them? Maybe that check out person likes to go slow because it soothes them as they had to rush to get to work and they want part of their day that isn’t hurried.

 

Dig deep and see what you can find. I wasn’t always listened to as a child, especially from my older brother. When I’m talking and the other person isn’t listening, I get pretty upset. This has caused me to grow up constantly interrupting people because it's the only way I feel I can get a word in. When I’m dealing with impatience, rather than work myself into a fit, I stop myself from reacting like I normally would and take some calming breaths. I’ll also try to do something nice for someone. For example if the person in line behind me looks more impatient than I am, I’ll let them go in front of me or when I’m in a conversation with someone I really listen. I don’t interrupt and I make eye contact, this isn’t always easy for me, but I know it makes the other person feel good. It’s the little things in life that make a difference in our days. In order to receive patience, we need to cultivate it.

Fully listening was one of the things that was repeated over and over again in my yoga therapy training. We often tone out when someone is talking to us. We're either thinking about something else, looking at our smart phone or thinking about how we are going to reply to this person before we have even fully heard what they’re going to say. Therapist’s couches are full of people who just want to be heard. Perhaps we’re all so impatient because no one is listening to us. If no one is patient with us, why should we be patient with them?

There is the lovely trend out there of paying it forward. Someone does something nice to you so you do something nice for someone else. So on and so forth until the world is full of nice and happy giving people. That same thing can work in a negative way. I could take the frustration I had with the lady at the grocery store and cut someone off in traffic. Instead I let a car in that had been trying to merge. Rather than feeding my anger, I let it go and did something nice which made me feel better and hopefully the guy in the car in let in.

Learning patience in our yoga practice takes time as well. Especially if you are changing from a faster paced class to a slower one or if you’re in a class where you don’t really like the teachers style. Don’t let your impatience ruin your practice. Instead see what you can learn from it. If you normally like to go fast, see what interesting or new things you can find in a pose from slowing down, try focusing more on your breath and letting go of your thoughts. If there’s something you don’t like about the teacher, perhaps she talks too much, see if you can tone her out a bit by focusing on your breath.

 

If you're new to yoga and are impatient about learning the more advanced poses, use your time as a beginner to make your practice perfect for you. Explore your body. Where is it tight? Do you have previous injuries? How is your breathing? Enjoy the journey from beginner to intermediate student. Use the time to educate yourself about your body and how it works best in a pose, or for that matter if your body should even be doing that pose. If you rush, you will hurt yourself. Take the opportunity that impatience gives you to turn it into something good. Take the patience you cultivate on the mat and bring it out into the world.

I think for the most part people don’t realize that they’re being impatient. It’s an ingrained habit and can be hard to recognize, even in ourselves. So when you feel your body tensing or realize that you’ve interrupted someone, apologize. You’ll feel better and so will the person you interrupted. Take a few deep breaths and wait your turn, just like your mom and dad taught you.